Old things pass away.

That statement is so true.

I was reading some of my posts in my old blog from Christmases past, waxing nostalgic, I suppose. Missing family and friends, missing snowy wintry mornings, the hustle and bustle of preparing for Christmas, the Pennsylvania mountains capped in snow.

And Noodles.


Last night, it hit me so hard that she is gone and I cried and cried, Boo heard me and came in my bedroom, sat behind me and wrapped her arms around me. Even with her own hurt and heartache, she wanted to comfort her mama.

Oh, I loved all the cats, but Noodles was so special, so unique in personality, that from the first moment I set eyes on her in the pet store, I was in love.

It was that little orange face.



Last night it hit me that she is really gone, maybe it was when I came home from work and she wasn't there, running across the yard to see me.



I think that if she had died naturally, it wouldn't be easy, but it would be a bit easier to accept.



The part that really hurts is that they took her away as if she had no value, as if she meant nothing. As if no one loved her.



But she was worth something, she was loved. And she is sorely missed.



I am working through my grief one day at a time, one prayer at a time. Some people may not understand the grief one feels at the loss of a beloved pet, but it is real, it is painful. She was part of my family, and every where I look there are memories, her laying in the kitchen window, dashing across the yard, rubbing against the dog.



I would tell her to give me some love, and she would jump on my lap and rub her face against mine, purring and happy.

Some day, I know that the hurt will ease, and I will be able to remember her with a smile, but for now, I grieve her loss.

In the meantime, I grasp onto the hope I have in Jesus, my greatest Comforter. Last night I had a dream that I was walking in a meadow, I was heartbroken and lonely and crying. I found a path that led to a beautiful valley and Jesus was there, just sitting there as if He was waiting for me. I went to my knees before Him and told Him that I wasn't worthy for Him to even look upon, but He lifted my face and looked at me and told me that He loved me. I cried at His feet, and He put His hand on my head.

Even in my dreams I seek Him.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.

One down...

six more to go.

Days of work that is, I am working a seven day stretch.

Joy.

Then I get one day off, then work one, then a day off. I would rather have my two days off in a row, but it rarely works like that.

*sigh*

I'm not really complaining, it just makes for one tired Deni.

Tomorrow night I have my first choir practice, I talked to the manager and asked him if I could leave work early to go as long as I got my work done and he was fine with that.

I am excited and really nervous about it! I tried to practice with the CD when I got home from work last night, but my throat is a bit sore so I think I sounded awful! I need to get some throat lozenges before tomorrow.

I think I am trying to come down with a cold, the sore throat, a bit of congestion and sneezing are pretty strong indications. I hope not, that would put a pretty big damper on my singing.

I did have this past weekend off which was nice. DT, Boo and I put up the Christmas decorations on Saturday, but yesterday it was so windy that half of them blew down. I set them on the porch till I can get them back up.

It's a hard thing for me to decorate the house for Christmas, even though I love the holiday so much. It always brings out nostalgia and homesickness. A tear or two is always shed, then I gather myself together and get it done.

There are so many memories tucked away in those boxes marked Christmas, ornaments that hung on my mother's tree, things my kids made when they were little, gifts from loved ones and good friends. A lifetime of memories.

Now I need to make new memories to go along with my new life.

I have a lot to be thankful for during this Christmas season.

I am posting one of my favorite Christmas songs, I think it says it all.