I Can

Philippians 4
10I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

In this letter to the Philippians, Paul writes that he has learned to be content in whatever circumstances he was in. He spent much time in prison, but even from prison he continued to work for God.

How often we are not content with our own circumstances. I think about how often the Israelites grumbled and complained to God, and I realize that we are no different.

The Israelites even complained about the manna God sent them from Heaven so they would not starve in the wilderness.

I realize that I do my own share of whining to God, just because I think that things shouldn't be this way, because like the Israelites who tired of eating manna every day for forty years, I get tired of living paycheck to paycheck and struggling financially.

But I have realized something, my situation is the consequences of bad financial choices in the past, just as the Israelites choices resulted in them wandering in the wilderness for forty years, a whole generation never able to enter into the Promised Land.

For a long time I prayed for God to rescue us from this mess, maybe I expected some kind of major miracle, like a big fat check to suddenly arrive in the mail. I wanted it handed to me, as if I deserved it.

But sometimes God wants us to learn from our mistakes and He doesn't answer the way we want Him too.

Hubby said something a while back about this, he said that we made this mess and God wants us to work to get out of it.

In the above passage it also says 'I can do everything through Him who gives me strength'.

This tells me that even if I have to work to fix this mess, He will sustain me. When I feel weak, like I just can't go on one more day, He is there, holding me up and lending me His strength.

Yesterday I had a bad moment, and I ended up crying in the car and crying out to God, 'I give up, Lord! I just can't do it anymore!'

But when I think about it, really think about it, I realize that things could be worse, have been worse and the pile of bills is slowly getting smaller.

There are others in way worse situations than I am in. Yes, I am late on my mortgage, but there are others who don't have a home to live in. My daughter needs to see the eye doctor and get new contacts but there are others who are blind. I need a new heating system in my house, but my house is warm with the portable heaters and there are people who freeze to death. I may not always have a lot of food, but there are others who have no food at all. I can't afford to buy new clothes, but there are others wearing rags. I lay in bed at night and wake frequently from the pain from arthritis, but there are people who have worse pain than mine. I sometimes get angry with my husband, but there are others who are totally alone. I miss my family, but others don't have families to miss. I am not happy with my job, but so many others are unemployed.

I need to be thankful for the blessings I do have because in so many ways I am richer than many others. Not just financially but in family, in friends, in my church, spiritually and physically. I have my health, my abilities, and my talents. And most importantly, I have God, my Father who loves me and cares for me even when I don't deserve it.

I need to be content.

Lord, help me to be content.

Just stop.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed with Christmas just a week away, a list a mile long, being sick and having to work everyday, this morning I just wanted to cry.

I went to pick Boo up from school to take her to her internship, and as I sat in the car waiting, I looked up.

The sky was a clear blue, with big puffy clouds hovering here and there, and for that moment, time seemed suspended and I realized that sometimes we just need to stop and be still.

Stop and notice what is all around us, the beauty of nature, the blue sky, the squirrel climbing the tree, and other things, like a baby's smile, or the lonely, poor, cold man walking down the street. Sometimes, we need to stop and just say Thank You.

Thank You that I have a mind to think and reason.

Thank You that I have a heart to love with.

Thank You that I have arms to hug with and hands to work with.

Thank You for my eyes that can see beauty.

Thank You for my ears to hear.

And Thank You for my nose to smell the aroma of food and flowers.

Sometimes we get so busy with all the life things, worry and stress, work, family and friends, school, bills, money or lack of, constantly going, pressuring ourselves to keep going, keep performing, keep striving, that we forget to stop.

We forget to reflect, we see but we don't observe, we hear but we don't listen, we say we love, but we don't show it, we, well, we get so wrapped up in the busyness of our lives, in the problems, the activities, the things, that we often overlook the most important things.

Sometimes we just need to stop.

Be still.

Reflect.

Observe.

Listen.

Love.

And give thanks.

Finding the good things

Even during sad times, God showers blessings, if only we open our eyes and look for them.

My husband was worried that the insurance wouldn't pay for my shots so he called them, the good news is that they are paying for it 100% AND they are waiving the co-pay since I have to go so many times. At $50.00 a visit, this is good news indeed.

Last night, Boo and I attended a play at The Andy Griffith Playhouse. It was A Dicken's Tale, adapted from A Christmas Carol. The church provided everyone with free tickets, which was pretty cool. It was a blessing to spend time with my daughter, and we really enjoyed it.

I got my schedule for the week of Christmas, we are closed Christmas day, and somehow I am scheduled off Christmas Eve. I am also off this weekend, and I am hoping I can get some stuff down around the house and maybe some Christmas shopping done, since I haven't even started.

On the way home last night, Boo made me laugh. We stopped at a little convenience store so I could pick up something we needed quick, Boo waited while I ran in. When I came out, she yelled, 'I WANT THE HORSIE!!!' I looked at her in confusion, 'What?'

'LOOK,' she yelled, pointing inside the store window, 'I want the horsie with the big head and little body.' I looked and sure enough, there was a big stuffed horse hanging there.

All the way home, she repeated over and over, 'I want the horsie! I want the horsie!'

At 17, she can be such a little girl at times, and maybe I will surprise her with the horsie for Christmas.

She has a gift of making me laugh when I so need it, my daughter is truly a treasure.

Yes, even during sad times, I can find many things to be thankful for.

One down...

six more to go.

Days of work that is, I am working a seven day stretch.

Joy.

Then I get one day off, then work one, then a day off. I would rather have my two days off in a row, but it rarely works like that.

*sigh*

I'm not really complaining, it just makes for one tired Deni.

Tomorrow night I have my first choir practice, I talked to the manager and asked him if I could leave work early to go as long as I got my work done and he was fine with that.

I am excited and really nervous about it! I tried to practice with the CD when I got home from work last night, but my throat is a bit sore so I think I sounded awful! I need to get some throat lozenges before tomorrow.

I think I am trying to come down with a cold, the sore throat, a bit of congestion and sneezing are pretty strong indications. I hope not, that would put a pretty big damper on my singing.

I did have this past weekend off which was nice. DT, Boo and I put up the Christmas decorations on Saturday, but yesterday it was so windy that half of them blew down. I set them on the porch till I can get them back up.

It's a hard thing for me to decorate the house for Christmas, even though I love the holiday so much. It always brings out nostalgia and homesickness. A tear or two is always shed, then I gather myself together and get it done.

There are so many memories tucked away in those boxes marked Christmas, ornaments that hung on my mother's tree, things my kids made when they were little, gifts from loved ones and good friends. A lifetime of memories.

Now I need to make new memories to go along with my new life.

I have a lot to be thankful for during this Christmas season.

I am posting one of my favorite Christmas songs, I think it says it all.

Changes Again!

It seems I can't enough of change.

So I putzed around this morning, and changed my background.

What do you all think?

Christmas is coming. I love Christmas.

There are a few things I want to add here, but I don't have the time today.

I need to cook.

Today is Thanksgiving.

Oh, I know it was really on Thursday, I am not that dumb. But since I had to work, and DT and Boo were off to do their own things, then I am having it today.

I really do need to get off here, I have a lot to do.

Sweep the floor, finish laundry, run to the store, stuff the bird, and you know, all that fun stuff.

Later this afternoon, Crystal is coming to join us, Boo and her beau will be here, and DT and his friend are planning to arrive sometime this afternoon, if they can drag themselves from the woods.

I am ok today, as upset as I was yesterday with the loss we had, I have God filling me up, and I have so much to be thankful for.

And besides, that child must have been very special indeed since God took him or her home.

That gives me comfort.

I still have all my wonderful children, my SIL and DIL, and five sweet grandchildren.

I have my four sisters and a brother. My Dad and my Grandma.

A plethora of other family members.

Two best friends.

And my dear sweet husband who when he heard about the baby being lost, insisted that he is coming home early to be with me.

I have my God who strengthens me, Who loves me beyond measure, Who guides me along my path, Who carries me when I am weak, and Who has given me so much to be thankful for.

Even though part of my heart is saddened by the loss of a grandchild, I come before God with a grateful heart, my heart is full with His love, peace and joy.