Gifts

My Dad has been telling me for several years now that he is giving me a thousand dollars.

Someday, in the year two thousand and never.

Ya see, my Dad is a promise maker, but after many, many years of broken promises, I take everything he says with a grain of salt.

He may have the best of intentions, but he never follows through.

So on Saturday, I actually received a Christmas card from him.

In shock, I quickly opened it.

Hubby watched me then started laughing as I took the opened the envelope, glanced in the card, then shook the envelope upside down.

'Still looking for that thousand dollars?'

'Course I am! Do you think MY Dad would lie?' I said, giggling.

Hubby just rolled his eyes.

In exaggerated disgust I tossed the obviously empty envelope on the table.

But really, I am just glad he thought of me, over the years, cards, letters and even phone calls have been rare things. Visits even rarer. I haven't seen my Dad in 13 years, and as for calls, I usually call him.

I want a relationship with my Dad, of course I do, especially since he was out of my life as a child.

And he is my Dad, and despite his faults, I do love him.

I have a Dad who is imperfect in his humanness, as we all are.

I accept that, he will never be the father I always lacked and always longed for. When other little girls were being tucked into bed by doting fathers, I was crying myself to sleep.

Over the years, and through the tears, I learned to turn to my real Father. One who will never break a promise, will never abandon me, will never hurt me. One who will wipe away my tears, hold me close, and give me comfort.

He is truly the Father of the fatherless.

Today is Christmas Eve, and on this day many people the world over anticipate receiving gifts. Fancy gifts, expensive gifts, homemade gifts, thoughtfully picked out gifts, weird gifts, unappreciated gifts, even ugly gifts or useless gifts that will be re gifted somewhere down the road.

But after a while, those gifts become meaningless, empty, broken and eventually forgotten and discarded.

However, there is a gift that has been bestowed upon us that will never fall apart, will never rot or rust and will never wear out.

A gift that man has anticipated since the beginning of time.

John 1
The Word Became Flesh

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.

3Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4In him was life, and that life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

6There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. 7He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. 8He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 9The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.

10He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

14The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

15John testifies concerning him. He cries out, saying, "This was he of whom I said, 'He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.' " 16From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. 17For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only,who is at the Father's side, has made him known.


On this day we celebrate His birth, but the truth goes farther, to His death that redeems us, to His rising to the right hand of the Father, and ultimately to His return to gather His own to Him.

On this day we should anticipate not only the celebration of His birth, but the promise of that great and glorious day of His return.

Although it would have been nice, I didn't receive money from my dad, that's ok, it would have only lasted for as long as it took me to spend it.

I have received a much greater gift than money, an eternal gift, the Gift of His Son, Mighty God, Lord of Lords, Emmanuel, God with us, Alpha and Omega, The Word, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace.

Jesus Christ, my Savior and the Savior of the world.

Expect the Unexpected.

In a couple days it will be Christmas, and when I think about the real meaning of this day, I become awestruck.

In the days of Christ's birth, the Israelites were under Roman oppression. They kept watching and hoping for the Messiah, but what they expected in the Messiah was not what they got.

They expected Him to come save them from oppression in a blaze of glory. They expected Him to be a mighty warrior who would lead them into victorious battle against their oppressors.

What they got, what we got was a little baby. A baby born in a lowly manner, to a young girl, and laid in a manger. He wasn't born in a palace surrounded by riches and servants.

Jesus did come to save us from oppression, but not the kind of oppression that the Israelites suffered, it wasn't our physical bodies that He came to save, it was our very souls. He came to save us from the oppression of sin.

Sin which separates us from God.

He came to save us from eternal death.

He came to free us from oppression of the soul, so we can enjoy true freedom under the banner of God's love.

From His lowly birth to His gruesome death, He accomplished His goal, and it wasn't in the manner that we as humans would have expected from God.

He didn't send a soldier, He sent a Shepherd,
He didn't send a rich man, He sent a poor man,
He didn't send a powerful man, He sent a merciful man,
He didn't come to destroy, but to heal,
He didn't come to condemn, but to redeem,
He was born so that He would die,
He died, so that we may live.




A Strange Way To Save The World


Two thousand years ago, there was no room in the inn for Him, but there is room in our hearts if we just let Him in.

Old things pass away.

That statement is so true.

I was reading some of my posts in my old blog from Christmases past, waxing nostalgic, I suppose. Missing family and friends, missing snowy wintry mornings, the hustle and bustle of preparing for Christmas, the Pennsylvania mountains capped in snow.

And Noodles.


Last night, it hit me so hard that she is gone and I cried and cried, Boo heard me and came in my bedroom, sat behind me and wrapped her arms around me. Even with her own hurt and heartache, she wanted to comfort her mama.

Oh, I loved all the cats, but Noodles was so special, so unique in personality, that from the first moment I set eyes on her in the pet store, I was in love.

It was that little orange face.



Last night it hit me that she is really gone, maybe it was when I came home from work and she wasn't there, running across the yard to see me.



I think that if she had died naturally, it wouldn't be easy, but it would be a bit easier to accept.



The part that really hurts is that they took her away as if she had no value, as if she meant nothing. As if no one loved her.



But she was worth something, she was loved. And she is sorely missed.



I am working through my grief one day at a time, one prayer at a time. Some people may not understand the grief one feels at the loss of a beloved pet, but it is real, it is painful. She was part of my family, and every where I look there are memories, her laying in the kitchen window, dashing across the yard, rubbing against the dog.



I would tell her to give me some love, and she would jump on my lap and rub her face against mine, purring and happy.

Some day, I know that the hurt will ease, and I will be able to remember her with a smile, but for now, I grieve her loss.

In the meantime, I grasp onto the hope I have in Jesus, my greatest Comforter. Last night I had a dream that I was walking in a meadow, I was heartbroken and lonely and crying. I found a path that led to a beautiful valley and Jesus was there, just sitting there as if He was waiting for me. I went to my knees before Him and told Him that I wasn't worthy for Him to even look upon, but He lifted my face and looked at me and told me that He loved me. I cried at His feet, and He put His hand on my head.

Even in my dreams I seek Him.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.

Confessions

I have a confession to make.

This one will shock you.

Really.

Ready?

I am two timing my husband.

That's right.

I am.

I have two guys.

I have two guys who love me.

One loved me so much, He died for me.

Yep. He died.

And a most brutal death it was, He didn't just die a simple death, He suffered tremendously.

But guess what?

He still lives.

Yep.

So I have two guys.

Two guys that love me.

The other is my husband, DT. And I know he loves me too.

The first guy's name is Jesus.

Isn't that awesome?

And you know what?

He will never fail me, unlike a human man.

He is always trustworthy, unlike a human man.

He will never hurt me, unlike a human man.

He is perfect. Can we say that about human men? I can't even say that about myself.

As much as I love my husband, I admit that I love Jesus more.

I can't help myself, I am in love with Him.

And why shouldn't I be?

He has done more for me than any man on earth has done.

And as much as I love being married, I know that even if I wasn't, I still wouldn't be alone, because I will still have a guy.

Jesus.

'Thank you, Jesus for loving me, even when I am unlovable. Thank you, for always being there for me, even when I have turned away. Thank you for picking me up when I stumble and fall. Thank you for being my strength when I am weak. Thank you for being faithful, when I am unfaithful. Thank you for dying for me, but most of all, thank you for living for me. I love You.'

In God's view

I've been trying hard to view people through God's eyes, not always an easy endeavor, and I fail more than I would like to admit. It's easy to look down on people because they are different, or because they have no 'eye appeal', or they seem weird, or dirty, or just different than main stream humanity.

It's hard to love the unlovely.

But I am trying and that's all I can do.

Today in church the sermon was on telling people about Jesus, they have really been stressing the point of inviting people to church, mostly because next Sunday is high attendance Sunday.

Ok, this is not something I am very comfortable with. One reason is because I've had people try and shove their religious beliefs down my throat and I don't want to appear that way to others. I prefer 'showing' people by my actions and words what it means to be a Christian, which is something else I am working on. Which does work, on occasion, like with my friend Crystal.

What does this have to do with loving the unlovelies of the world?

Well, there is this man at work, and ok, ok, I even think he is weird.

I had to go into work for 1 today, I have my hours scheduled like that so I can go to church on Sunday mornings.

I ran into Mr. K, the weird guy at the time clock. Ok, I think he is weird, but I do endeavor to be nice to him.

So we end up having this conversation.

Mr. K, "You just comin back from lunch?"

Me, "No, I'm just coming in."

Mr. K, with funny look on his face, "Isn't it late for you to be coming in?"

Me, "On Sundays I don't come in till one so I can go to church in the morning."

Mr. K, "Oh, you like going to church?"

Me, "Yes, and it's the one thing I won't compromise on."

By this time we are both punched in and he is walking with me through the store.

Mr. K, "What church do you go to?"

Me, "Calvary Baptist right over here in Toast."

Mr. K, "You go to Sunday School too before church?"

Me, "Actually, I go to the early service at 8:30 then Sunday School afterwards."

Mr. K, "And you really like it?"

Me, "Yes, I do, I love going to church."

Mr. K, "I really should start going to church."

Me, "You are always welcome to join us!" Where did that come from, did I say that?

Mr. K nods, and says, "I guess you read the Bible all the time too."

Me, "Yes, I am a Bible believing, born again Christian."

Mr. K, "Hmm, that's good, that's good."

At that we parted ways and went off to work in our separate departments.

Now, I am definitely not the type to push my religious beliefs on someone, if I do talk to someone it's because the conversation just turned that way for some reason, if they don't want to hear it, that's fine, I can do nothing to change a person's mind, that is up to God.

I do believe that God places us in certain places with certain people at different times for His purpose to be fulfilled.

And I have seen evidence of this in my own life.

Nineteen months ago I moved here from Pennsylvania. I didn't find a job for almost three months, then I landed a job at the sock warehouse, where I met my friend Crystal.

Crystal has been through a lot in the last year, her brother died of a drug overdose at the age of 31, she was fired from a job she loved, she has had some health issues of her own, she ended a long term relationship with her boyfriend, but she is now a faithful member of the same church I belong too.

Now, I know God didn't 'need' me to get her back into church, but He did use me to get her there. I am humbled and awed by the fact that He could have used anyone to fulfill His will, but He used me.

I don't want people to go to church because they feel that they 'have' too, I don't want people to go to church because they want a social life and they feel that is where they will get it, I don't want people to go to church because it's the thing to do, or a status thing, or even out of habit.

I want people to go to church because they can learn about the love of Jesus for all mankind.

I've been to all kinds of churches in my life, Roman Catholic, Lutheran, UMC, Baptist, and so on. I've been a member of several different churches, one I was soured on because of the whole money issue, one I was soured on because of the political games, one was too legalistic and judgemental, and yes it's a shame that this happens, but I have come to realize that we are all terrible sinners and when you put a bunch of us together you can end up with greed, power plays and even hypocrites.

Jesus didn't come to judge, He came to save the sinners, like you and I. He sat and ate with sinners, real people like you and I. He chose those people over the supposedly righteous folks to eat with.

He chose people like fishermen and tax collectors to be His disciples, He didn't choose scholars and priests nor the rich and powerful.

He chose us.

He chose me.

I don't have anything to give to Him but myself. Any gifts or talents I have are because He gave them to me. I am not well known or famous, I am not rich by any means, I came from a poor background, I make many, many mistakes in my life, I get depressed, discouraged and even lonely. I am so imperfect in so many ways, yet He loved me so much that He died for me.

This is the message of the Gospel, it's not about how much money a church can collect, or how powerful someone can be, it's not even about being able to quote scripture, it's simply and yet powerfully all about Jesus and what He did for all of us on the cross, freeing us from the punishment of death that we deserve by taking it all upon Himself.

Jesus truly loves the unlovely, even one such as me.