Perspective and Prayers

Today, ok, I admit it, the last few days, I have been weepy and sad. I cried yesterday, the day before and a couple times today.

I can't put my finger on the why, oh I have several different things, for one, Christmas, so close, a holiday I used to get so excited about, it didn't just mean the celebration of Christ's birth, of course the most important aspect of it, but it also meant, family, my family, gathered together.

It didn't matter about the gifts we gave or received, or how much food we ate, although we did do those things, but what mattered was being together. We had some pretty lean Christmases over the years, somehow we would get through, together.

It's so different now, I find myself missing the days when my kids were little, I miss those Christmas Eve nights when I would read Luke 2 to them before they went to sleep. I miss having them jump on my bed Christmas morning in all their young exuberance and excitement.

They are all so far away, and I can't even see my grandchildren.

So I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. I am really tired, have been sick, the loss of the cats still weighs on me as does my DIL's miscarriage, we are really struggling financially, and I spend more time alone without my husband than I should.

And then I heard heartbreaking news, and I wonder why I have been feeling so sorry for myself, when things like this happen. It has a tendency to put things in perspective.

There is a young lady who really needs prayers, her name is Kayla, she has been fighting cancer for some time now, please visit and leave a comment and say a prayer or two or three for her. She beat this before, she can do it again.

I have so much to be thankful for, and this young lady has so much to live for, all her hopes, her dreams, and the love she shares with others.

God can and does give miracles, let's pray that He gives Kayla one.

Tonight, I am shedding tears, but not for myself, my tears are for Kayla.

Drawing closer to God

Last night I talked to my DIL for quite a while, she felt a little better yesterday, but she described feelings of anger and loss. A normal reaction.

But she is immersing herself in the Word of God, she is looking for answers.

JP took his family to church on Sunday, knowing that they needed to be with the people of God.

Tragedy can so often drive us away from God, we see this often, and there have been times in my own life when I allowed that to happen, letting myself become embittered and angry, blaming God for my problems.

But turning to Him in times of sorrow, can bring us closer to Him, opening our hearts to experience His full all encompassing love, compassion, and mercy.

I believe God uses the hard things in our lives to draw us closer to Him, if we just turn and seek Him.

But too often we only turn to Him when things are bad, we must not forget to worship and praise Him in the good times also.

I love to read the Psalms, and recurring theme I find awesome in the Psalms of David particularly, is that he always gave God the glory, no matter the circumstances. David was often depressed, lonely, and frightened. Enemies pursued him, surrounded him, wanting to take his life. But even in the midst of all these things, he always praised God.

We can not know fully God's mind, he is beyond our mere human understanding, but we can know and accept that He is a just God, that He knows us better than we know ourselves, that He is faithful, even when we are weak, that He is compassionate when we are suffering.

My son and DIL suffered a loss of a child, and who can understand better such a loss than God?

I grieve the grandchild that was lost, but even so, I rest in the presence of my Lord, I find comfort in Him, and I have not lost the peace and joy that has been given me through His grace.

And that is my fervent prayer for my children.


James 4
8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Prayer request

Please pray for my son, JP and his wife, Jenn.

Jenn lost the baby.

They are devastated.

And I am heartbroken for them.

I know that we can't always see God's purposes, but He is faithful, and all things work for the good of those who love Him.

Even the harsh things, even the sad things, even this.

To my unborn grandchild,

I love you Baby, even though I will never hold you, I will never play with you, or count your fingers and toes.

But I know that you are in God's arms and that you are loved more than I can I say with mere words.

Your parents miss you, they cry over the loss of you, as do I, but you have a Heavenly Father who can and will love you forever.

Someday, when I get where you are, I will be able to love you and hug you like I long to do. But in the meantime, you have a great grandmom, and a great great grandmom there who will step in, until I get there.

You also have a cousin there baby, who you can play with, so I know with such a wonderful family, that you are safe.

And I know you are in a place of complete Joy.

You will never face hardship and heartache, you will never suffer loss as we do, and for that, I am thankful.

I love you, Baby.

Mommom