Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Standing up for myself

I have always had a hard time standing up for myself. I don't like confrontation and negativity for one thing, but sometimes I have to because I end up getting stepped all over and then some.

And I usually get to the point where enough is enough.

At work I am beginning to get really sick and tired of being taken advantage of, from the day shift leaving their unfinished work for me because they know I will do it to the Lead changing my schedule around all the time just because she can.

Now the thing with the scheduling has absolutely gotten on my last nerve and yesterday I put my foot down when she wanted to change my schedule again at the last minute.

Two weeks ago, another c0-worker told the lead that she needed tomorrow off because her husband has to have surgery. I was standing there when she told the lead and heard her quite clearly.

Yesterday, this co-worker reminded the lead and the lead got an attitude over it and when this co-worker was out of earshot she complained saying she should have told her sooner. Two weeks ago wasn't soon enough?

So she pulled out the schedule and first asked another co-worker if she could do it and she initially said yes, but then realized that she has an appointment tomorrow. The lead got snotty and said, 'Well, I CAN'T do it, I have an appointment!' even though she is already scheduled for tomorrow and all she would have to do is come in earlier.

Then she looked at me and said, 'Well, Deni is off Wednesday!'


I looked at her and said, 'Yeah and I would like to be off!'

In other words, NO.

I have not had two days off in a row in forever, because every time I am scheduled that way the lead changes my schedule and I am blamed tired of it.

And another thing, I am not trained to do this other person's job, even though I have learned a little from watching and helping there is a lot I don't know and I think that it's a bad deal to put someone in a spot who doesn't know what they are doing.

She really wasn't happy with me, but oh well, I found out that company policy says I don't have to work when I am not scheduled. I don't mind helping out but I have plans on getting some much needed things done around my house, and I just can't do it in one day. If I have one day off, then have to work three or five, by the time my next day off comes there is even more work and I just can't catch up.

Was this wrong of me to want the days off I was scheduled? Was it wrong for me to stand up and say no? I have gone into work every single time she has asked me to or changed my schedule without telling me first and I need a break, even two days is better than nothing.

I am feeling kind of selfish for not agreeing to work, but I am also a bit angry that they keep expecting me to change my plans for work. I work to live not live to work. My family and home comes first, and I am getting really disgusted with this job.

I am also disgusted with the stupid, petty, immature, spiteful things some co-workers do to one other one. These are grown women and they act like they are in junior high. They keep trying to drag me into it, and I won't have it.

I try to keep to myself, not say anything, but it's getting harder.

I just want to tell them to just cut it out already and grow up! It's ridiculous and they expect me to not talk to this person, help her or anything just because they don't like her. Well, she never did anything to me and I happen to like her, and I think she is getting a bum rap. She stays to herself, and tries to ignore their spitefulness as hard as it must be.

I am the type, I don't dislike a person based on what someone else tells me. I try to get to know people for who they are not based on someone else's perceptions. I would want someone to do that for me, so that is how I treat people. If I believed every thing people told me, then I would never talk to anyone. And I figure the ones who sit and gossip and back stab people would do the same to me in a heartbeat, so the women who are against this other co-worker are just showing me that they are not people I really want to associate with, instead of pushing me away from this co-worker, they are actually creating the opposite affect.

I try to be kind to every one, even people who I don't really like I will help, that is my nature. I always believed that kindness is a better way to go than being spiteful and mean, especially treating those who are mean as kindly as possible.

I also will not verbally take sides, I am not on anybody's side at work, I am there to do a job, earn a paycheck, I am not there to make friends or enemies. Making friends can be a nice benefit to working, but I am one who is very careful of who to make friends with, since I have been majorly burned in the past by so called 'friends'.

And after working there for almost nine months, I can see some really nasty personality traits in some people that I initially thought were nice people. Time brings people's true colors out eventually, and it makes me glad that I didn't pursue friendship with these people.

I am trying to figure out a way to handle this diplomatically, but these two women I am afraid would suddenly perceive me as an enemy if I say anything even though I want to just tell them to leave me out of it. Every time I even help this other co-worker they ask me why I am doing so, or like yesterday, asked me if I was on crack. No, I am not, I am doing my job, I believe in being a team player and helping my co-workers, and I really don't feel like standing around gossiping when I have work to do.

Am I wrong? How does one handle something like this? Especially as a Christian? I am finding it a difficult issue to deal with, and I don't even know who at work I can talk t about this, since the Lead seems to be on the their side, and the managers don't seem to care when you tell them anything and if you do nothing changes. I have tried to talk to two different managers about other issues but nothing was done.

So do I put up with it and just keep doing what I am doing? Is there a way to diffuse this?

I am starting to look at the want ads, there are so many things that I dislike about this job that it seems like my only option.

Sorry for the long rant, I needed to get this off my chest I guess and hoping maybe someone has a suggestion as to how to deal with it.