Purpose. Passion and a Plan

For a long time, even since before we moved here, I have felt like I had no purpose, no real passion for anything, and no motivation for anything.

Lately, I seem to keep running into things in books, at church, on the radio, and on tv with the common theme of finding one's purpose and passion.

A passion can be anything, a hobby, an activity, another person, volunteering, a club, or just about anything you love doing.

I started thinking about this, and researching it.

And I read a couple of things to do in the quest of finding one's passion.

Make a list of everything you like to do.

Look around your home, at your memories, at things you did in the past that you enjoyed doing.

From the time I was very little, there were two things that always enjoyed doing, reading and drawing.

I am definitely the artsy type, and through basic reading and drawing other things developed. Writing for one, I love to write, I feel compelled to write. For a long time I wanted to write a book, but isn't it every writer's dream to write the next Great American Novel? And the competition is fierce, to say the least. But I have discovered that my writing talents such as they are don't lie in the fictional area but the inspirational.

From drawing and an Aunt who loves crafts of all sorts I learned that I also love to make things. Through the years I have learned how to do many different types of crafts, some self taught, some taught by others. My grandmother taught me the basics of crochet when I was little, from there I learned more complicated stitches, with the help of my ex MIL eventually graduating to crocheting snowflakes and doilies. I learned how to cross stitch, and crewel. I taught myself how to do flower arrangements and wreaths, I even made the bouquets for both my son's and daughter's weddings. I taught myself how to tole paint. How to draw with pen and ink, and watercolor. I know how to sew, thanks to home ec class in Jr. High. I have made my own curtains, even a shower curtain due to the need of a special size. I also taught myself how to refinish furniture, stripping it down to bare wood, and I know how to stencil. I have done decoupage and scrap booking wall art in shadowboxes and in frames. I have made yard decorations out of wood with a jig saw and paint. And if I sat and thought about it, this list would probably grow even longer.

I have also learned how to do 'DIY' things around the house, changing locks and washers in faucets and such.

I have a creative side that needs to be let loose.

But I haven't been motivated to do anything creative except write for at least several years now.

There are other skills that I have also developed over the years, like cooking, especially baking. I even considered for a while going to school to become a pastry chef. I also thought I would like to open my own restaurant, one problem with that is I don't have the capitol.

My older daughter, Pookie recently told me that she always thought I should be an interior decorator, my son, JP told me I should be a tattoo artist which made me laugh. I just can't see myself doing that, especially since I am not very fond of tattoos.

So lately I have been pondering about this and praying for direction.

And one thing I know about myself is that I do not like working outside the home, probably one reason why I have had so many jobs. For one thing, I get bored with jobs after the initial excitement of learning something new. Another thing is that I really dislike working on someone else's timetable. I feel restricted and caged in.

I have done so many things but what do I really love to do? And how do I implement some of the skills I have developed into something I not only enjoy doing, but that can eventually develop into something I can do as a business venture?

My goal is to eventually replace my income from my job with something I can do at home. I don't make huge amounts of money, about $800.00 a month clear, so what can I do, implementing my skills to replace that?

I don't believe in coincidence, I believe that God leads us to where we are to go and what we are to do, and He can use any means to show us.

Last week one night I decided to turn the tv on, I don't watch much tv, I can go weeks on end without even looking at it. But on this particular night I did, and browsing through the channels, I came across HGTV, which is a channel that has home decorating shows, remodeling, design shows, etc. You can check their website out, http://www.hgtv.com/.

I was totally enraptured.

I realized that there are some things people purchase, one is food, people need to eat, another is clothes, people love clothes some to the point of addiction, and there is one more thing people buy.

Things for their homes. I am not talking about fancy gadgets, I am talking basic things like floor and window treatments.

Which is something I think about a lot for my own home.

People also like things that are quality, they also want to get the best their money can buy.

I watched it again last night, and once more I was enraptured. My eyes were glued to it for several hours as show after show came on until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

This morning I checked out their website, and it is just chock full of stuff.

And I found something that I know I can do. And I am bound and determined to try it.

At first I was thinking big, no, more than big, HUGE, my mind and stomach jumping with excitement, then I realized that I need to approach this rationally and start small and experiment with one project to see if this is really what I want to do.

And if it works then I feel it is a beginning of something bigger.

And I don't even need to spend a lot of money since a lot of the stuff I need I have on hand. Paint, paintbrushes, and as for design, God gave me the ability to think and draw. With this, I can use some of the skills I have developed over the years.

Later I am going to dig through my shed to see what I have, to take stock.

I don't quite have a plan yet, that will come as I think about it, write things down, research and start small.

But I am hopeful, excited and motivated.