Sunday, November 25, 2007

Grandparents grieve too.

Today, it's really hit me hard, I cried in church, I cried at work, and I am still crying.

JP called me in desperation, wanting Bible verses to help his wife. He loves her so much, and the loss of their baby is devastating.

I found some verses that I hope will help, but then I in turn, called my Pastor's wife, who is a grief counselor.

I broke down in tears again.

And she said something interesting, that I, as a grandparent have been hit with grief twice. I not only lost my grandchild, I hurt because my child hurts.

And there is really nothing I can do or say to make his hurt less or his wife's hurt less. I can only love and support them, and share in their grief.

A lot of people minimize a miscarriage, mostly because secular society doesn't always agree that a fetus is a real child.

I beg to differ.

Miscarriage is a real loss. It was a real baby.

God's word says in Psalm 139

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

God knew that child from the moment of conception, and all of that child's days were ordained.

And a joyfully expectant mother loves the child that is forming inside her.

I remember when I conceived my son. I knew the moment I had conceived. Two weeks later, I was sure. Another two weeks went by and it was confirmed.

As young as I was, as scared as I was, I was more terrified of losing him. He laid under my heart, developing and growing for nine months, how could I not love him? He was a part of me.

Today, he is a grown man, a husband and father, and now a grieving father who is trying so hard to hold his family together, to help his wife through this, to be the strong one.

When he called me Friday morning, he was crying so hard that it broke this mother's heart.

If I could take his tears I would. If I could take his hurt I would. If I could take his lost child's place, I would.

But I can't, I am helpless and I am grieving.

I have decided that it's ok to grieve this loss.

It's real, it's painful.

And I am not alone.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.