Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Wedding Anniversary and Love Notes

On November 7, 1997, DT and I stood before God and man and said our marriage vows.

I know a lot people who said we wouldn't make it past the first year.

Tomorrow, proves them wrong as we celebrate ten years of marriage.

To commemorate the day, I am reposting something I wrote on Time to Tell, I think it says it all.


Love Notes



In the fourth grade, I recieved a little note on a scrap of paper from a boy in my class.

All it said was, "I like you."

I wrote back, "I like you too."

Now wasn't that just too cute, little kids passing little love notes back and forth in class.

He turned out to be a jerk, but we were ten, and he was cute.

When I was 15, I started dating a boy, actually a young man since he was 19, who I had known forever.

He was my first love, and yes, he broke my heart.

But that summer was one of the most beautiful times in my life.

We took long walks hand in hand. We talked about everything and anything. We made big plans for the future.

And he wrote me love songs. And then he would sing them to me. He had a nice voice, a deep baritone which would send shivers down my spine.

He wrote me one in particular, that I carried around with me just so I could take it out and read it whenever I felt like it.

That song written from his heart disappeared along with the pictures I had of us, I can't recall if I got rid of them in the throes of a broken heart or if they were just lost.

After him, I started dating the man who would become my first husband, and subsequently my ex.

He wrote me many love letters, long and detailed, proclaiming his undying love for me.

When I gave Pookie my wedding dress, she called me and told me she found all of our letters, along with our wedding pictures in the box with the dress.

She asked me if I wanted them.

No, I don't want them, I have no desire to read them or even see them.

We were young and in love, and it is a part of my history but I have no desire to recall that time.

But someday, my grandchildren or great grandchildren will read them, and see that yes, at one time there was love there.

DT is not much of a letter writer, aside from the occasional note. But that's ok, I don't need letters from him, I know how he feels.

I see it in his eyes when he looks at me, in his hand when he takes mine, in his arms when he holds me.

I feel it in his concern for me when I am not feeling well. When he took care of me after I had surgery. In his words, 'Be careful', when I go somewhere. In the care he took to provide for my future if something should happen to him.

His love letters to me are the times he comes home late at night and crawls in bed and wraps his arms around me. They are the whispered words, I love you, just before he falls asleep. They are the ring he surprised me with when I least expected it. They are forgiveness for things I have done to hurt him, and a willingness to rebuild our marriage when we thought it was over. They were his tears when he was heartbroken, and his willingness to trust again. They are when we are both thinking the same thing at the same time, or when we finish each others sentences. They are cozy nights on the couch watching tv or a movie. They are when he offers to rub lotion on my back. They are long walks in the woods holding hands. They are long conversations or comfortable silences. They are future plans together. They are working together to solve problems. They are standing by each other's side, no matter what.

I don't need words written on a piece of paper because what I have means so much more.